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So I've come back from the last abroad trip for a while. Hopefully I can have some impulse control and just. stay home for a while. Not that I really wanna travel; there's a lot of guilt regards money spending and general anxiety that prevents me from enjoying travelling.


Started watching Guardian on some depressed evening in Zagreb, and what do you expect, I'm absolutely hooked.
Interestingly enough, I fully expected to prefer the original novel to the adaptation (as it usually happens) and yet... not the case. 17 episodes and around 50 chapters in, I vastly prefer the drama.
There's many aspects to this, but even just focusing on two glaring things: first, Shen Wei's secret identity is actually... a mystery, instead of kinda coming out of the left corner with none of the buildup and suspense of the drama. As fun as his courting attempts in the novel are, there's almost no suspicion on Yunlan's part, so when he finally discovers who Shen Wei is, there really hasn't been any buildup to that. Compare that with the drama, where Yunlan's pretty clearly drawn to Shen Wei, but his suspisions just don't let him fully relax and give in to that feeling.
Second... even knowing the tight rope the crew were walking between censorship and staying somewhat true to the relationship of the original, so I shouldn't really applaud them on the romance, and yet - there are many moments in the novel that I found... jarring. Creepy, even. And getting rid of moments of creepy romance (sometimes just because we don't get the inner monologues, true) didn't make it less romantic, only less creepy! Which in turn, for me, just made it kinda. More romantic. Also, as much as I appreciate explicitly stated mlm attraction and the kind, the more subtle romance of the drama just... gets me. There's more of the pining and slowburn that is, of course, owing to the visual nature of the drama, shown rather than stated, which makes it just - preferable to me.

Plus, overall – I guess I kinda have high standards, because after reading MDZS and TGCF, the writing is just... lacking. Maybe it's partially the translation's fault, I don't doubt that. And still.


I've also caught up with all MXTX translations, and as I imagined, TGCF is. a huge favorite. I'm still not as in love with the whole world of it as I am with MDZS (and SV is... another matter, I've got rather complicated feelings about it, but I've enjoyed reading the latest updates, but evenmore so, fic, specifically I Wish You Were My Husband which I consider better-written than the novel), but it might be my favorite book of MXTX? The suspense of book 3 is so tightly written now, and the contrast between grotesque and tender, horror and gentleness is just sublime.

oh ramble

Jan. 15th, 2019 09:12 pm
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• both therapy and japanese (two regular things I have weekly) have been so good this week, despite yesterday being a horrid mess of anxiety. COOL.

• i'm reading Heaven Official's Blessing/Tian Guan Ci Fu and it's everything I expected. it's comforting despite all the horror, and I think it will continue to be comforting for me even when soul-destroying angst arrives, especially since by then it will feel even more familiar. it's just... my type of story, I think, and I have had that feeling for a long time before I even started to read it. (guess my intuition in those things still works, nice.) Xie Lian is a very very comforting (and comfortable) narrator, and I think it will be the story I'm especially weak for – aka good intentions leading into terrible, no-good things. and characters who mean good but FUCK EVERYTHING UP AGAIN AND AGAIN.

(...oh god, is this why I love Xiao Xing Chen's story so much? fuck, I'm so obvious hhhh goddammit.)

• that said, I'm hyperaware of how much MDZS has become kind of a home to me already. god. I just love the world to pieces, I wanna roll around it and wonder at its existence. every time I get a little bit away from it, be it bc of TGCF or something else, and then come back, i feel SUCH WARMTH. ITS HOME. I KNOW IT SO INTIMATELY ALREADY. i love it when the world of the text feels like this... it's the best feeling, the one I seek out with many canons AND fics... ahhhh

• I wonder if it will take an audiodrama (when it inevitably gets produced) to get me into SV... although I'm getting closer to giving it a try.

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